There once was a man named Reuben Hill who noticed that families that lived through the Great Depression were not all alike. He observed that some families were strengthened, while others flopped. How is that possible? If they endured the exact same experience (more or less), why did they have different outcomes? Hill decided to create a model that explains how families go through stress. It's one of the most commonly referred to models in the field of Marriage and Family Studies, and it's called the ABC-X Model. Pronounced exactly how it's spelled.
Each letter of the model represents an element of a stressful situation. Now, keep in mind that a "stressor" is not always bad. A stress is simply an added pressure or strain on an individual, family, or community. If we were talking about an individual, a stress could simply be a promotion at work, a new baby, a party to plan, or a relationship that requires lots of energy. It's broad. Referring back to the model, each letter is an element.
A - The stressor. The actual experience that we are focusing on.
B - Resources available.
C - Beliefs and Perceptions of the stressor.
X - Total experience.
Here's an example of a common stressful event so the parts can be applied to a family. Let's say a young married couple have their first babe. Obviously, the stressor itself would be the baby. We could also add that the events leading to the baby add, such as the delivery, the last-minute preparation, etc. The available resources would be anything considered helpful in the new parents adapting to their new stressor, such as sleep, food, neighbors, babysitters, their religious belief about family, and much more. When discussing their perception, let's imagine this couple planned for this pregnancy, and they both have been dreaming of being parents since their formative years. In that case, they probably believe this is the happiest event of their life so far. Finally, with the combination of all three elements being as they are, their total experience is that of joy and a bright outlook on the future.
When Hill observed and applied the ABC-X Model to many families, he found that the most influential elements are B and C. Above all, C is the most powerful. How people believe and view their experiences is what they become. In the case of our young family, what do you think their experience would have been if they believed that this new baby was a burden? If they felt they were unprepared and unequipped to handle it? Their total experience would drastically change. In addition to that, imagine the different utilizing their resources makes. Do you know of any young couples that didn't need help immediately after having a baby?
The ABC-X Model gives us a wonderful understanding of what to focus on when in stressful situations. It's important to know your resources, how they help you, and to LET them help you. More than that, however, it's important to understand the big picture. Why do you think stressful things happen? Do you think it's punishment? Do you think it's a learning opportunity?
The Cantonese figure for the word "crisis" is actually the combination of the two words "danger" and "opportunity." Each time we encounter stress, we actually have the choice of how it affects us. We get to choose if it makes us, or breaks us. We get to decide if we grow bitter, or better. It's a beautiful thing to have control!
No comments:
Post a Comment